Thursday, November 26, 2009

Are You A Taliban of One?

There was a guy in a silver Buick today who was sitting there talking to some chick who was directly in front of me at a traffic light. The light turned green, they sat there, I tapped my horn to let them know the world had stopped revolving around them, the chick pulled off, I pulled off behind her, and her conversational companion then pulled in behind her, leaving the turn lane, and cutting me off. I see stupid people driving each and every day of my life at work, so this isn’t surprising or shocking, dangerous that it may be. Yet he isn’t done, oh my no. I pull into the far right lane to get away from him, but he slows down and flips me off. No problem. But he matches my speed trying to get me to stop. I pull out my cell phone and call 911 to report him. I more or less I have to do it. I’m in my work truck, and it’s got this big ass identification number on it. If I report him before he can report me, then if he does report me, it will seem like he’s trying to do some preemptive ass covering. At the next light he’s one land over, and two car ahead of me. He keep looking back at me, keeps flipping me off, and I’m describing him to the 911 operator, who seems to be intensely interested in road rage. Apparently, road rage is something the law wants to keep at a minimum.
All of this happens about fifteen minutes before eight. I’m rattled. I do not like conflict with strange humans. Because I’m in my work truck I’m unarmed. Clearly, the other driver isn’t sane, or happy. I do not mind crazy people, and in fact, some of my most favorite people are nuts to the guts. None of them confront strangers on the road, unless you count screaming out bible verse to traffic.
The Smith and Wesson makes a compact .357 with a hidden hammer I could stash easily in a coat, and when it gets right down to it, there isn’t much else you’re going to need than a five shot hand cannon that sounds like Armageddon when it’s fired. The downside to getting into a firefight with a moron is he’s likely to be having the same experience. Firing a few rounds off in the middle of Moultrie Georgia is going to be remembered in court as seriously fucked up. The only upside is getting fired isn’t going to seem all that important considering the other factors focused on those who get into firefights over being cut off in traffic. A .357 does remarkable damage. It does this damage regardless as to whether you’ve tagged someone who started the fight, or if there’s some ten year old girl half a mile away saying good-bye to her mom for the last time.

Okay. No guns. Bad idea. Sorry I brought it up.

You have to wonder why anyone would open up with a firearm but that’s happened in the last week in Valdosta, not twenty-five miles from here, when a dispute over nothing at all led to someone firing into a crowd. The indefinite combination of firearms, alcohol, young men and stupidity will lead to people being killed. Hint: It is neither the guns nor the beer.

When for the second time in less than an hour, someone changed lanes on top of me, and then became hostile because I blew the horn at them for doing it, I began to wonder if maybe this just wasn’t my day. This was a SUV with a Clayton County tag, and trust me, conflict with someone from Clayton County Georgia isn’t going to result with some sort of intellectual recourse. We really have neither time nor space to discuss the Clayton County Educational system, but perhaps another day?
But then again, we are talking about education here, aren’t we? The more educated someone is in regard to what guns can do, the less likely they are to start shooting over some stupid shit. But then again, you have to get them educated enough to realize stupid shit isn’t worth killing over, hence my problem with Clayton County Georgia. Clearly, if some self educated redneck has figured this out, what the fuck is wrong with the people in Clayton County?

In a word, plenty.

As I pointed out a few words ago, this isn’t about Clayton County Georgia. They were unfortunate enough to donate a moron driving a silver SUV who almost got me killed, but this by no means is has anything to do with most of this. The idea it’s okay to ignore traffic signs and common sense is pandemic, and not in the same sense our foolish government is calling a few thousand people getting sick, out of three hundred million, a pandemic. Shooting into a crowd of people and wounding a dozen while killing one is a pandemic. It’s a pandemic of stupidity. We don’t have a Center For Stupidity Control and Prevention, like we do for disease, and clearly, stupidity is a much more dangerous condition.
Eight years of George Bush as president gave us a sense of tolerance for stupidity. He meant well, sort of, and he was president during 911, and he had that one good speech. But by and large, Bush was a moron of the first order, and anytime he spoke in public his handlers did shots of tequila in the corner. He wound up shooting into a crowd, and even years after we’ve been rid of him, no one can figure out how to stop the bullets. No, this isn’t some peace-nik rant. We burned to death 100,000 men, women and children, on March 10, 1945, during a bombing raid on Tokyo. Nearly all Americans were happy to hear about it. They knew this is what it took to win a war. Now, if you heard about us killing that many people in Afghanistan would you be horrified? Maybe we’re not supposed to be at war there, huh?
Let’s tie this together shall we?

On a personal level we’ve lost our sense of prospective when it comes to conflict. We’ve become a Taliban of one, ready to shoot because someone did something in traffic we didn’t like. Perversely, we’ve invaded two countries, well one country and Afghanistan, for reasons that seem to escape nearly everyone who knows anything about war or foreign policy.
Doesn’t all of this seem, for the lack of a better word, stupid?

Take Care,
Mike

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