Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Full Moon Mutts

Bert and Sam have always let the full moon get the best of them and they are training Lucas to follow in their pawsteps. Sometimes it is worse than others but this full moon has been one for the records books if canines kept records and didn't chew up books. I secretly suspect the government has been conducting experiments on my dogs that involve massive doses of stimulants and psychoactive rawhide treats. The full moon has taken their senses away from them as it's as if they all have been teleported to an unknown and alien world.


Remember the plan? The plan was to introduce a younger dog, a puppy, so as to add a little life to the pack. In turn, the older dogs would act as a guiding influence upon their young apprentice and there would be no need for all the training I had to put the first two through, right? This works well up to the point something happens that disrupts the routine. Remember the Owl? A few years back, during a full moon, a barn owl tormented the dogs by landing on the roof and hooting. The dogs, which at that point consisted of two very solid individuals named Bert and Sam, could see and hear the owl on the rooftop. They would then charge towards the house, but once close enough to the house, they could no longer see the owl. They would then run back towards the center of the yard where, oh look, there he is, and repeat as totally unnecessary.

Sam dislikes all things aloft. Bert will also chase flying creatures, and this makes me wonder what exactly are the expectations here; do they really think a buzzard is going to drop out of the sky because they're chasing it? Sam is a little more intense when it comes to channeling for antiaircraft artillery, but I suspect this has something to do with being on their menu for a while. I don't know that buzzards ever took a shot at Sam, but I do know of all the flying creatures in the yard through the years, buzzards are those most likely to draw Sam's attention.

Flying creatures have the most to lose in conflict with earth-based citizens. Yet no one wins a fight with an owl, particularly a large one, and I'm betting a buzzard can inflict some serious wounds with that beak and those claws. Owls, despite the fact they have very large wingspans and truly sharp talons, are not that massive. However, taking one on is like tackling a five year old holding a straight razor in each hand. Without doubt, Sam can kill an owl, or buzzard, if he catches it earthbound, but I'm going to shell out some bucks for the vet bill.

At some level, Sam has to know there are dangers inherit in attacking an owl or a buzzard but the thing that drives Sam to attack overpowers anything telling him it really isn't that big of a deal when a buzzard is buzzing the yard, or there's in owl on the roof. Before you begin thinking about getting a dog, or more importantly, a child, remember that rage and neglect can scar in individual longer than life. Poor sweet and gentle Sam, one of the more loving dogs I have ever kept company with in my life carries with him the burden of truth. The truth is life can be exceedingly brutal, and the truth is food can run out. Why anyone would teach these lessons to a puppy, or more importantly, a child, is beyond my ken, and beyond my skill of healing.

But Lucas knows very little of this, and less of owls. All the Loki Mutt knows is if the older dogs chase something, he should chase it also. I'm not entirely sure he knows he is pursuing a flying object. It's possible Lucas hasn't seen the owl yet, and he might even be bright enough to think, "What the hell are we running after? It cannot be that stupid bird because that would be like totally dumb." I really have no idea. All I do know is the recent full moon has brought to bear all sorts of behavior that ordinarily I do not see in The Three.

Sunday night Bert woke me up so he might walk in the light of a near full moon and of course everyone must go with. Bert the steady, Bert the rock solid creature of habit and the one voice of reason in all things canine, wanted out at three in the morning. He never does things like that. But then he gets into a barking match with some other dog out there, and even the Loki Mutt is sitting this one out. Bark at another dog this time of night? That's not good!

Most dogs have incredibly poor eyesight but great hearing and an even better sense of smell. Sam is a sighthound, and as such, sees as well as I do. Bert is as blind as a bat but he's got a pair of ears on him, and his nose knows. I'm not sure about Luke yet. His Superpower hasn't been reveled unless it is excess energy. When Bert and Sam patrol, Bert usually takes point because in the woods things are smelt and hear before they are seen. Sam takes a position behind and to one side of Bert, usually closer to the fence. Bert flushes game, it breaks for the fence, and Sam nails it before it can escape. With the Loki Mutt along they may as well send in a marching band of drunken Irish sailors the day after payday first.

With the full moon, they've been hitting the back acre with the military precision of the Goths on meth. They run back and forth as if they're pursuing the ghost of armadillos past, and it's like watching the Three Stooges on four legs. They are restive at night, snarly towards each other during the day, and none of The Three seems to be able to sit still for more than a few minutes at a time.


Oh, and that full moon stuff? Yeah, I hear it's all myth.


Take Care,


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