Monday, March 8, 2010

The Steel Parrot Versus The Invasion of the Body Roaches!

My plan never to use pesticides inside my home has worked remarkably well. I haven't seen a roach in this house in years and nary a drop or mist of poison have I issued. Of course, there are those who decry the spider population of my home, thinking it creepy or dangerous to have so many arachnids scurrying about on ceiling and floor. There are a couple of unswept corners of the house where large webs can be found. Look closely and you will see the remains of miscellaneous arthropods, their wings and shells testimony to what I pay my exterminators.

People kill off predators without considering the prey. I cannot count the number of times someone has called me to oust a Rat Snake from their yard, or home. And oh what a sight it is, too! I went to one home where you would have thought Charles Manson and Hitler were playing strip poker in the living room. The whole family was gathered around outside with of all things, a Sheriff's Deputy, who looked grim faced and angry. The snake in question had slithered across the floor in the kitchen and disappeared under the refrigerator. The description if the creature being less than twenty feet long, and light colored led me to the conclusion I was dealing with a rat snake, and I was. I had to explain to the Deputy that having a large household appliance dropped on me was the greater of evils here. No matter what the snake did, I warned him, do not let go of the half ton steel ice locker I was going to be reaching under. He solved this problem by clamping his eyes shut as I caught the rat snake, and bagged him. Briefly, I considered grabbing the man by his ankle and screaming, but the fear of drowning…

People will pay large sums of money to rid their home of rodents but over the years all I've done was toss large rat snakes under my house, and one into the attic. Rodents enter homes because there is food there, and because it's safe. There is damn little food here and no surety. I miss having a cat because that ends all debate when it comes to mice, but my snakes make up for it. I also have owls, hawks, and on occasion, some small predator like a fox or bobcat. The mutts chase these away in the back, but they have all learned the front yard is fair game. Almost all of my windows have webs and I haven't near the problems with mosquitoes as other people. It's dangerous here, to be small and flying, and to be anywhere near where the skinks and anoles lurk. This place, my home, may look unkempt with its webbings and the guardians with eight legs, but there is no poison here, no chemical traces in the air or on the floor. The serpents under the house stay hidden, mostly, and balance here is maintained as it is everywhere else humans do not kill what they ought let live.


 

There is a very serious spider living in my computer desk, and she is one of the larger ones in the house. She has learned what spaces she cannot build webs, and I've learned never to pick anything up without looking it over carefully. Keep in mind this information; it's coming back after the next paragraph.


 

Yesterday, I was drawn into a yard sale like a fly into a web. I saw a small Godzilla looking bibelot, and decided to buy it for a friend. It turned out not to be Godzilla at all but a robot parrot, plastic of course, and I even found the manual online, yayness. I set it down near my keyboard and would seek suitable mailing raiment for it on the morrow. Yet this story has a dark twist for when I went to check my email this morning there were roaches on the metal plastic parrot, and that meant there were more inside! I noticed they were just sitting on it and not making any attempt at invading my computer desk. For good reason, for as it turns out at least one of their kind had been dragged down, and now hung from the edge of the desk by a web. Two space alien legs quickly drew the bagged lunch into a crevasse as I watched.


 

The metal plastic parrot is now in the freezer, in a plastic bag. I am not tempting fate by keeping it out in the open and I'm sure as hell not sending it off until I know it's clean. After a couple of weeks on ice, we'll see how our little friends do in a bag filled with smoke.


 

Any suggestions that do not involve poison?


 

Take Care,

Mike

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