Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Dreams

Only tell me that you still want me here
When you wander off out there
To those hills of dust and hard winds that blow
In that dry white ocean alone

Lost out in the desert
You are lost out in the desert

To stand with you in a ring of fire
I'll forget the days gone by
I'll protect your body and guard your soul
From mirages in your sight

Lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up, and be your way out
And if we burn away, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

Just a wish and I will cover your shoulders
With veils of silk and gold
When the shadows come and darken your heart
Leaving you with regrets so cold

Lost out in the desert

If your hopes scatter like the dust across your track
I'll be the moon that shines on your path
The sun may blind our eyes, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara

If that's the only place where you can leave your doubts
I'll hold you up, and be your way out
And if we burn away, I'll pray the skies above
For snow to fall on the Sahara----  all lyrics by Anggun

I’ve only had a handful, no pun intended, of sex dreams involving famous women. The other night I dreamed I was at a house party and met a woman who looked very familiar.  She denied being a singer at first, but I managed to figure out what song she had sung by the sound of her voice, and she was duly impressed.  Anggun and I were talking about music and some other woman came into the room and started kissing me. We started having sex on the spot while Anggun talked about singing, and oddly I was able to appreciate both interactions.
The woman I was having sex with wanted me to go to an apartment and get something out of her bedroom, and it was something entirely unrelated to sex, so I got up and went to the apartment building. There were two buildings made of dark red brick and both of them were short square buildings. As I neared the buildings they transformed into an apartment building that has appeared before in my dreams. This one is an old building, very tall, and it has odd architecture inside.  There is an elevator, but I always take the stairs because they twist and wind around.  There are windows in the stairwell and I can see the building itself, as if it is across the street from one of the windows.  There usually isn’t anyone in the building but me, or at least I have never seen anyone there, but in this dream the halls were crowded with black people moving in and out of apartments.  Everyone seemed to know me and they were all greeting me with “Hi Mike, where have you been?” or “Glad you made it back!” and it seems I’ve been gone for a while. There was exercise equipment in the hallways, and it was hard to get to the end of the hallway where my apartment is. My apartment has this ancient dishwasher that had a door like a safe, but it has only one hinge so it swings up rather than open.  It’s an odd dishwasher because the racks do not slide out.  There is music somewhere down the hall and I open my door to hear it better.

As I leave I go down the odd stairwell and the window that showed the apartment building is now showing the sky. There are white clouds skipping along the sky like there’s a serious storm blowing in. This stairwell is connected to another building across the street and I can get there from here. The other building has a secret room in it that is very hard to find, and I am one of the few people who knows it’s there and how to get there. I go up one floor and this window shows me the building across the street and I can see the part of the building with the secret room. The windows below the room are offset just slightly, and I wonder why more people do not realize there is room for a room above those windows. I quit going there, to that room, so much because I was afraid of being seen, and once it becomes common knowledge the room is there it won’t be the same, and I know it.

The window fogs ever so slightly with my breath and when I wipe it with my sleeve the dust is red. Not like blood, even though it is the same color. I wipe the window again, and this time it’s just dust, and I’m disappointed for some reason. I want to go to the hidden room, and look out the tiny hidden window that’s disguised as an air vent, but there are too many people around. A group of men come down the stairs so I pretend to be going up, and come back down to the window once they’re gone. The angle of the window is wrong now, and I cannot see the building across the street, well, not clearly.
The street is crowded and I feel like going one way, towards the hidden room, but I go in the opposite direction, being pushed by the crowd, not physically but rather an aversion to pushing back against the people coming towards me. I do this in real life sometimes in stores; I’ll go down one aisle rather than have to go around the people blocking the one I want to go to.  I’ll go down to the next crosswalk and cut over from there, at least this is the plan, but the scene shifts and I’m in another town, one I have never been in before, and I’m more than a little lost.

I stop walking to look around, but that isn’t safe anywhere. If you want to be the target of a crime all you have to do is look lost and I try to vamp my way through all of this my pretending to be stoned. I hold my arms out and sing to the top of my lungs knowing most people assume crazy people are either dangerous to mess with or too broke to bother with. It’s fun doing this and I’m looking up at really tall glass building and the top three or four stories of glass are going to fall at any second and I scream at them to fall. Nothing is falling but everyone is screaming and running around because they think it’s going to happen.  There are dark clouds about the glass building but it looks like the sun is reflecting off the parts that are going to fall and finally I start seeing tiny flashes of light. The panes have started falling from the buildings around me, and it all starts at the top and dominoes down so that after each floor there are more and more panes. They’re all sparkling in the sunlight, even though there are very dark clouds and it looks like frozen rains storming down the side of a canyon. 
The phone rings and Elbow wants to know if I have coffee. Coffee. I need coffee.

Take Care,
Mike

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