Monday, August 30, 2010

Porn

Olay, let’s separate the sheep from the goats here, damn, I just realized what a poor metaphor that would be for this, but anyway, I don’t understand porn, even though I like nudity. Now, some will argue photographs of naked women is still porn, but I’ll argue it’s a matter of context. If the naked women is sunning herself on the beach, it’s hard to argue it’s porn, but if the woman sunning herself on the beach is shown masturbating with a three foot long sex toy, the argument for porn might pop up.
What is and what isn’t might be too long of a debate, and ultimately a futile one but the point here is I don’t understand it. The human female body, unclothed, is erotic, there is no question about that. Some people might think the same of naked men, but that’s not my problem. Actually, naked photos of adults ought not be anyone’s problem, but that isn’t the issue here either. The issue here is my simple inability to understand why porn is popular.

I’ve written enough erotica in my life to understand how sex between humans work. That isn’t the issue. Because I’ve written erotica, I understand how the presentation of sex within a medium for example, writing or film could be, if the artist is good, erotic. That would be, I suppose, the reason it’s called erotica. Yeah, yeah, I get that, no problem.
Take the book, “Jaws” which was turned into a movie that scared the hell out of a lot of people who knew nothing about sharks and when the teachers at my middle school discovered there was a sex scene in the book it scared them for the same reasons. Get a bunch of fourteen year old males together passing a book around that is supposed to be about a shark and those ten pages leading up to and containing the sex are those that look the most worn.
But mainly I’m talking about the film stuff and if you’ve seen one porn video you’ve seen just about all of them. I’m not sure why there is more than one porn video. It’s the same thing. It’s people have sex with other people. The directing isn’t great, the writing is predictable, and all the films have the same climatic scenes. But man, there is some money to be made in porn.

I dated a woman who liked porn and that was her favorite form of foreplay. I didn’t mind at all, as long as it got her motor running, but what I do not understand are the people who are watching porn and not having sex. Let me see if I understand this correctly; you can’t find a date so you’ll watch other people having mass sex and this helps you…? I am almost certain porn isn’t going to help your social skills. Walking up to a woman and using a line from a porn film might actually work if you have glued several hundred dollar bills to your forehead. If you can’t get sex and you’re watching sex that means you are not out there trying to find sex to get.
Maybe I’ve lived a sheltered life but I’ve never seen real sex look like sex in a porn film. Real sex is more fun, and I promise you from actual experience, you do not want to be filmed having sex. There is a lot of editing done in the porn industry and the transition between scenes is never as seamless as you remember. Sex is like dancing; it feels good when you do, and you and your partner might love it, but very few people look good doing it.
My only real issue with porn are those people who stray. A friend of mine sent me photos of the actress Emma Watson that had obviously been photoshopped, but having photoshopped pictures of a nude fifteen year old and have photos of a nude fifteen year old, will get you the same amount of jail time. When the seventeen year old son of a friend of mine sent me a few photos of his female classmates I damn near went into cardiac arrest. Apparently things have evolved somewhat from those ten pages of “JAWS” to what kids are doing today.

There is a difference between someone pushing fifty looking at photos of a naked fifteen year old, and someone seventeen looking at the same photo. There is some predatory behavior with a man my age being attracted to someone that young, while someone that young, hopefully, is just cranking up the experimentations with others that age. Clearly, things are different now, but one thing has stayed the same; sex is still sex.
When the Pamela Anderson sex tape hit the net there were some guys at work who went off the deep end. They couldn’t stop watching it. One guy brought a laptop to the office and knowing they would all be fired if they got caught, they watched it in his truck. I saw about a minute of it and realized I knew how it was going to end.
Famous people having sex looks the same as unfamous people having sex except you’ve seen them before. Trust me, your first or last sexual partner did not have any more, or any fewer working parts than Paris Hilton. I haven’t seen the Paris Hilton thing though I was invited to a party one night where it was going to be shown on a widescreen. Yeah, eight guys getting together and watching Paris Hilton on a fifty-two inch screen, that’s going to help.
I have friends with vast porn collections.  Maybe it’s just like watching sports nonstop, like Nascar, or watching football all season, except asking who’s ahead means something totally different. It just doesn’t do anything for me at all, unless I’m with a woman who likes it, and there aren’t that many women I’ve met who are impressed with porn.

Uh, guys, that might be why you’re watching porn and not actually having sex.

Take Care,
Mike

3 comments:

  1. I am not such a fan as to have a collection.I've rented many, even watched one all the way through on occasion. Most men are visual creatures,most women are not.The majority objectify women in awful ways...they also objectify men but not nearly as badly.Most men don't last that long.Most couples do not feel the need to change positions 6 times."The Loop" has got to be trademarked.It's kinda like the scene in Twister when the cow is swirling by...cow.....cow again.....same cow,and so on.
    The spitting that has become all the rage is just nasty.And ejaculate is not a facial or body moisturizer,it belongs in one of two places both inside my body.And the shoes!! Do not even get me started on the absurdity of the shoes!I watched one once and the woman had on tights, with strappy buckle shoes.Change scene,tights gone,shoes still strapped and buckled on.
    But if a film has a good foreplay to orgasm track, I'm in. The good ones are not usually found in male/female interaction but in the girl on girl bits.They are just more real, not in all mind you but in a few here and there.Rather ironic for a relatively non vocal person,innit?Having been toned down for so many years due to children in other rooms, not sure I'll ever be truly vocal on a decibel scale.In many ways I do the same thing I do whenever I really focus, I go inside my own head.
    So I guess I like good auditory porn.

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  2. I never understood the shoes things either.

    Auditory porn is kinds weird when it gets down to it. I had neighbors one time who were loud, but they were also bad neighbors so hearing them have sex wasn't fun.

    My sister managed an apartment complex and a woman who lived alone had loud sex alone.

    That was oddly erotic

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  3. Porn, I don't get. Erotica, on the other hand, I do.

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