Wednesday, August 10, 2011

Trash Crash Fleeing Law From Cash Snatch

Bonnie Parker learned early in life that it really didn’t matter what she could do. If you were poor you were going to stay poor in the Great Depression and if there was money to be made it was going to be made by someone else. She wrote a speech for the man who would later be mayor of Dallas, but all he wanted her to do was sleep with men who might otherwise not support him. A friend of Bonnie’s suggested they team up as hookers with a guy she knew so he could help protect them. Prostitution or die slow from starvation seemed to be the choice of Bonnie Parker until she met Clyde Barrow.
            The three rejects from reality televisions out takes who hit the road in search of infamy at the end of a gun made one very serious error in judgment, okay, they made a bundle of bad judgments, really, so nevermind. But do you know what started all of this? The youngest of the three was busted for sending obscene text messages to an eleven year old girl. Now that is certainly the stuff of outlaw legends there. So you have a brother who has to wear an ankle bracelet because he’s trying to bat way down in the minors and that’s what sets off your crime spree? The Moll in all of this sounds like she took in Jersey Shore as a blueprint for her life if not her attitude. An alleged stripper with just enough looks to make the story believable after a six pack of cheap beer, she bragged about acting ten years younger than her twenty-seven years.

            Oh boy! I can’t wait to meet a woman like that!

            But there were people out there who got spoon fed this chick and her brothers as some modern day gangster act even though they had shot at one law enforcement officer and robbed a bank in Valdosta Georgia, which, by the way, is where I work. I don’t idolize people who fire guns on the inside of buildings. I think it is stupid and dangerous. A friend of mine has a daughter who works in that bank and was working there when she was pregnant. What if there had been a pregnant woman in that bank? What if something had gone horribly wrong with their plan to get away clean? Guns and people mixed with stupidity usually ends up with dead people.
            I can’t tell you a lot about law enforcement but once you shoot at one of them you’ve pretty much shot at all of them.  If you tell them you think there is a time to die after you’ve shot at them then they will certainly help you check your clock on the way out. They take morons with automatic weapons extremely serious. They are very, very, very, very, rarely impressed with some skanky trailer park trash bar fly who thinks she’s tougher than a man in uniform protecting the rest of us from people like her.
            Honestly, all three of them are lucky to be alive.

            Getting into a high speed chase with the cops is usually a bad idea. Given you’ve made threatening noises at them and shot at one of them, and robbed a bank, and stolen a car, you might think they have no interest at all in seeing anyone walk away from the wreck. Yet there all three of them are. They are all alive if not banged up a bit. The woman in question was shot in the leg. At the end of the day, the police did what they usually do and put the cuffs on the bad guys and everyone went home alive. Well, alive for the three, but they will have a new home soon.
            I don’t want to glamorize or rationalize the murders Bonnie Parker was involved in, and no matter her circumstance, what she did was evil and it was wrong. But Bonnie Parker was a woman in the most dire of positions with no way out of the life she was living. She wasn’t in it for the fame, or the fortune, or even the money. All Bonnie Parker wanted to do was live. I do blame her for not allowing those she killed, or helped kill, have that same chance. But these three they collared up in Colorado are nothing but Trailer Park Trash in the worst sort of way. Bored and decedent, these three deserve nothing but orange clothes and closed doors for a very long time. These three are petty criminals who got press coverage they didn’t deserve and another chance to live by the grace of the men and women in law enforcement.

These are no Bonnie and Clyde. They’re just losers.

Take Care,


  1. This is what happens when the uneducated are left to their own devices. If there's no bar to piss up in, they're off to cause a raucous.