I made the remark, once upon a time, that I had been a fan of the game, not any particular team, for over forty years, and that’s why I have something to say about professional football, and the Atlanta Falcons for many years. Someone asked if I had watched sex for that long would that make me an expert, and honestly, unless you are intimately involved in the action you aren’t likely to understand what’s going on, but you will still know what goes where and why, and who is getting screwed. Hang on to that thought, it’ll come again.
The Arizona Cardinal were supposed to be the first of a stunning line of Vick-tims, with the now ready to make a run for the playoffs Eagles having manhandled the Cowboys in spectacular fashion. Spectator that I am, I thought this was going to be an interesting game because of the Cardinals now injured, once an Eagle, Kevin Kolb, standing on the Arizona sidelines. Surely, I thought, Eagles head coach Andy Reid, participant that he is, would know Kolb was not too happy about being traded away so that some ex-con dog fighting thug could have his job. Surely, I thought, Reid was good enough to make some changes that would neutralize Kolb’s knowledge. Surely, a half way decent quarterback would see it coming, right?
All throughout the game Kolb was screaming at the defense, “PASS!” “RUN!” “SCREEN! SCREEN!” and more often than not he was right. Once again, Vick was trying desperately to salvage a game the Eagles had been leading late, and this time, Kolb was barking at the defense like a Jack Russell terrier with a spoonful of meth in his espresso. The route got jumped, the pass was intercepted and just like most of the games he’s played this season, Vick sat in front of a camera and explained how the Dream Team just hadn’t awoken quite yet.
Onlooker that I might be, I saw that coming. Did Andy Reid not see that coming? Did all the coach’s men and all the coach’s assistants not know Kevin Kolb would be stalking the sidelines screaming like Lady Gaga on a bad hair day? Why not change things up a bit, rearrange a few plays, get Vick to audible out of whatever Kolb was sending in? The truth of the matter is Reid and Kolb know what I already knew; Vick is no more than a stupid thug. If you can make Vick think you can make Vick blink. If he has to do more than just perform physically he’s as useful as a condom with buckshot holes in it. Reid rolled the dice Sunday, hoping that his defense could contain the offensively weak Cardinals, and Vick wouldn’t self-destruct to the point of defeat. The man Reid traded away in favor of a dog fighting ex-con with a pot habit and a twitchy interception arm brought it all down in flames. What else Kolb was screaming, I have no idea, but the man would make a great coach, huh Andy?
Now, Reid tells us that Vick got hurt. Now he’s saying Vick played hurt and that was what happened. Reid is lying. Reid knows that Vick isn’t hurt. Vick is freaked out. Vick is losing his mind and games and the season. Vick hasn’t the metal toughness to survive the New York Giants next Sunday. They’re going to go after him with an axe, and Reid is blowing smoke to confuse New York coach Tom Coughlin as to who is going to behind center. This is the act of a man desperately seeking anything at all to go right. This is an act of a man who looks at the pot smoking ex con dog fighting sorry piece of poor excuse for a human and seeing him as I do.
The fans of football got screwed when they let this poor excuse for a human being back in uniform. The fans of the Eagles got screwed when Andy Reid got into his sons’ stash and decided to let Vick be the next big thing in Philly. The rest of the NFL got a gift if they know half as much as I do about playing defense. Make him think and you can make him blink. Do this, and Mike Vick is screwed.
Now, I ask you to watch. Sit down and pull up a chair. Reid will send Vick in Sunday against a team that hates him nearly as much as I do. Reid will send him in to finish Vick off, the way dog fighters send in a wounded dog just to get rid of him. Now, Mike Vick will stare down karma and know how it feels to be sent in to die. They will cart him off the field and it will end.
I know what goes where and why. And I know Mike Vick is so totally screwed.