Now we wait. There isn’t anything else to do. I rather ride than wait but right now we wait. Ideally, this thing is over in less than a month but less than ideally it won’t be. I have been talking to my vet about what less than ideally looks like and how long it will last. I do not like the answers or how she looks when she speaks of these things. But first we wait.
I am dating a Saint. For someone who has known me for two years but never let on she was interested this is a woman who has bought into the partner thing with an open heart. She hasn’t blinked at going to Jacksonville twice in two days, helped navigate, didn’t say a word when I backed into her car and dented it, and all the while, she and Lucas have bonded even more. When the time comes you discover who cares.
And I have.
This has been a period of enlightenment for me. People I have only known through the internet have reached out to us in a very real way. My days as a Hermit have always been centered on me believing I was alone and would be alone. I have never fully trusted people.
The way my friends have risen in this time has inspired me and it has also humbled me. I wish I had done more when I could have. I will one day, I promise.
But right now we wait. The biopsy will take another two weeks, the second opinion Monday, and until then I am going to try to get my life back on track. The two trips to Jax did not help me in any way, except it did show me someone really cares about me.
Is there anything else worth discovering, when it gets down to it?