The smart thing to do is not fight. That is true. That was true when Hitler invaded Poland. It was stupid for them to fight back because they could not win. It was stupid for the men at the Alamo to fight because they were certainly going to lose. In the Battle of Midway, there was no reason for the American forces to think, to wish, to dream, they might even so much as dent the mighty Japanese navy.
Save what you have for what you have left. Live to fight another day. Don’t let this thing take over your life. Prioritize. Put it all into perspective. Don’t do anything stupid when there is so little to gain.
I have listened to the advice of those who love and care about me. I honor their wisdom. I appreciate that they see this from the outside looking in and they are not attached to this issue as I am, and they might be a bit more reasonable about this than I.
But I have decided to fight.
I do not care if I lose.
I’m taking Lucas to the University of Florida in Gainesville on the 4th of November. I am starting over and getting a second option from the best vet school I know of. My appointment is at 9:30am and by lunch I will know if I have a fighting chance.
I just had a conversation with one of my oldest friends and she told me I cannot let this consume everything I have to save Lucas. I told her that if I thought I could save Lucas I would spend everything I owned, sell everything I had, and I would never look back.
I cannot do anything less. I cannot. I cannot bear doing anything but all I can. I have to do this because if I do not it will define who I am in the light that money was more important than Lucas and that I something I cannot bear.
You can only do as much as you can bear and the idea of giving up in the name of money is something I can not bear and I will not bear it.
I am going to fight this with everything I can put on the table and then if I can get someone to loan me some more money I’ll do that and if I have to do something else I will do that too.
This is how I fight for those I love and for those who love me.
This is how I will define who I am.
Let Lucas die in the name of simple expediency and go get another dog?
I will meet the Japanese navy at Midway.
See you on the beach.