Saturday, June 7, 2014


At work today some guy was passing his phone around with the photo of a naked woman shown on it. Guys have been passing around photos of naked women at work since I was a little boy and chances are they will still be doing it long after I’m dead. It’s one of those things that guys do. I remember someone handing me a Playboy book when I was a kid and I nearly passed out from excitement. There was a lot less shown back then and the women were more naturally beautiful than they are now. With boob jobs and photoshop, any woman can be slipped, snipped, and clipped into a mold that defines beauty these days. But with those same devices, my Pibble, Lilith, could be made to look the same way. She would look odd with a boob job, don’t you think?

So why are we so eager to accept the fact that women look good that way?

So I looked up the photo when I got home and this is the part that counts. The woman in the photo above looks starved. I’ve seen starved. I know what it looks like up close and personal. That woman goes hungry because she wants to look a certain way. She’s got a C-Cup bra and an A-Cup body supporting it. That cannot be a good thing. It’s not very natural looking.

“She looks starved” I said out loud.

“I’d feed her!” offered a man with two very young daughters. I wonder what he’s going to do in a decade or so when his daughters begin that migration from little girls to young women, and suddenly, all the things that society has taught him he will realize society has taught other males. If his daughters aren’t skinny with big breasts then they’re going to feel fat and ugly. If they don’t show off their attributes they’re going to feel unappreciated.

It’s hard to imagine what the world is going to be like in another decade. With social media being the new defining device as to what is cool and who is not, parents could be totally out of touch with their kids and never realize there is a form of religion out there born of likes and comments and groups. The peer pressure asserted on kids can be lethal with the consequences never noticed until there is a suicide or a murder.

If a kid will go out and kill someone, or kill themselves, over something they’ve become attached to on the internet then what makes you think they wouldn’t starve themselves into a small clothing size for the same reason, or lack of therein?

The internet isn’t to blame here. We aren’t dealing with some wide open deep pit in our backyard in which children fall into, never to be seen again. You cannot fix social media because it isn’t the thing broken here. What’s broken is the kneejerk reaction we allow ourselves to have when we see a woman.
“I’ll feed her!” is what that guy thought he was supposed to say. It popped into his mind in a millisecond and the other guys in the room were beaten to the punchline. This is the way we, as men, are supposed to behave, and we’re supposed to act like this towards women, who are supposed to look like they just escaped from a death camp for girls with large breasts.

When we see and hear about children killing other children and we hear about someone going off the deep end, it’s because we’re very slowly crowding everyone in a direction no one truly believes is a good place to be.

But here we are.

Take Care,



  1. I never understand so called logic. Every study written on this subject says men prefer curves on a woman, but the pages of magazines tell us otherwise. Most mature women, at least the ones I know, are comfortable with their bodies and will not be dictated to by the fashionistas. Unfortunately, many girls and young women are vulnerable to media and fall victim to what it tells them is attractive.

    1. I think it is getting to the point it is more of a woman thing than a guy thing, but guys, srsly..

    2. I agree, Mike, and I wish young women would get the message.

  2. What magazines, Melinda? Most magazine pictures of women are fashion oriented and are geared toward women. I admit it’s been awhile since I’ve seen a Playboy or Penthouse, but I remember them as being pretty curvy. Not as curvy as in the 50s but not looking starved either.

    1. Kate Upton is an example of them heading in another direction. She's hardly starved.

    2. Bruce, that's what I'm talking about. Magazines geared to men such as Playboy and the swimsuit edition of SI regularly feature curvey women and as Mike mentioned, Kate Upton is a perfect example of that, even though there has been much criticism about her, mainly from women. Fashion magazines geared to women show teen and pre-teen, underweight females as the example, even the norm, of beauty and desirability. Therein lies the reverse logic, in my mind anyway. If men prefer the looks of women in traditional men's magazines, why aren't women getting that message?

  3. Women don’t dress for men, it’s all for other women, including trying to force their bodies to fit fashion. No mater how much he loves you, adores you, worships the ground you walk on, trust me, he doesn’t care in which shoes.

    Therefore, I blame women, and the fashion media for most of the problem, but I’m a just-show-up-naked-with-a-bottle-of-wine kind of guy, so I may be clueless.