I’m tired. This week has had its share of idiots and it borrowed those from last year that were not used up. I’m not sure where so many of them come from but I’m pretty sure they are a sign that we have derailed evolution and this cannot be good for us as a species. Stupid people make me tired when I have to explain to them the things in life that most people see as a given. To wit:
There is a guy who doesn’t have any real responsibilities but he has a job. There is another guy who has a lot of responsibilities but honestly, he shouldn’t be out in the field where he might have to interact with the first guy. These two hate each other. So both of them migrate towards one another and an argument begins. Why? Why not stay the hell away from people you know are going to irritate you and cause you to irritate other people?
Do not come to me with your people problems when you stand there and argue with someone else you know is going to cause you heartburn.
So I got up this morning and decided to mow the lawn. It doesn’t really need it but we’ve been getting an inch of rain every other day which means in two or three days it will need mowing, for real, and it’s easier to mow when it just kinda sorta needs it. I need some mindless exercise. I need to sweat. I need some exhaustion. I need to get up off my butt and get away from my thoughts which are getting decidedly toxic.
I take stock of the day and realize there is coffee. How truly bad can life be when there is coffee? Coffee with honey in it and some chocolate milk, and well, there’s something to look forward to every day, isn’t it?
Last night there was a thunderstorm. Lucas is Bert’s long lost son because all the flash and anger of the storm just doesn’t affect Lucas at all. Sam gets weird at every loud noise so he wants to sit in my lap. Lilith isn’t bad about the thunder but at some point it got bad enough to scare her too. I laid down on the bed and cuddled with all three at the same time. Sam needed to be right on top of me and he snarled at Lucas who dutifully ignored the impotent death threats from an ancient dog. I never trained Lucas not to kill Sam but Lucas seems to understand that I value Sam and Lucas is gentle with Sam’s madness. Sam can be paranoid and belligerent but neither Lilith nor Lucas reacts to him anymore. Lilith attacking Sam, or even defending herself against him, would be fatal but if Lucas really, really went after Sam it would be…terrible. My Loki Mutt is a gentle giant. Lucas has a sense of grace that I find lacking in some human beings.
As bad as the grass is when it rains all the time my little garden is taking off. The peppers and tomatoes are catapulting out of the rich black soil and it won’t be long before I’m giving peppers away. It’s hard for me to turn the tomatoes loose. Home grown tomatoes are the best thing ever when it comes to produce. The little cherry tomatoes eaten right off the vine, because I never use pesticides or poison, are heavenly. How bad can a life be when I can put a tiny plant into the dirt and with nothing but rain water and sunlight have given back to me food? It’s that just the most amazing thing ever? Food growing right up out of the dirt with nothing but rain and sunlight to bring it forth! It’s a damn miracle. Really. And flowers. Zinnias, to me, are the most wonderful flower ever and mine are coming up nicely. I am not sure what it says about a man who plants Zinnias but the butterflies and the bees love me for it.
Did I mention coffee? Okay, just checking, because coffee…truly.
You know, despite the shortcomings of human beings there is music. I have, in my possession, days’ and days’ worth of music. At any given time I can go online and listen to more music than I can buy digital space for and that is saying very much indeed. I discovered Lieutenant Kije’ the other day by letting my phone listen to the radio and an app told me what the music was. How incredible is that? My phone listens to the radio and tells me what a song is. There was a time in my life when a song could come and go and I would never hear it again, never have a chance to find out who it was but now…
Thousands and thousands of years ago, when we were huddled in caves with fire as the only advance in technology that really meant anything at all, people sang and played songs that would disappear into the night like the smoke from the fires. We’ve lost forever that music and we’re lesser people for it. Yet now I have, on a tiny device, enough music to last me for an entire month’s worth of commuting to and from work, and many times that more.
The grass gets mowed down and my mood lightens. There is always you. A random person from the internet sent me a story to look and add suggestions. It’s a wonderful story, one of the first he’s tried out in public, and it has wings. I like it a lot. Much can be said when I can have access to people who write and have access to people who like my writing. The world isn’t such a terrible place anymore. With exhaustion comes clarity and with it, a sense of rest as odd as that may sound. The stress from the week has been peeled away. The weekend is in front of me and I have coffee, writing, and a garden.