I’ve always heard that if you fall in a dream you will wake up right before you hit, or you’ll wake up just as you hit. That makes sense because I would think that sudden stop at the bottom of a fall would be really bad. Back in the day we would jump off the bridge over the Chattahoochee River. It was high enough so that you would change your mind about what you just did, but there wasn’t anything you could do. Having time to think about it was odd. There you are in free fall, a place you usually don’t have to think because by the time you realize it you’ve hit, and you do have time to think about it as the water rushes up to greet you.
“Keep your legs closed next time” is the first thing most guys thought right after they hit the water the first time.
In the dream I vaulted over a concrete barrier on a bridge and just knew there was some sort of ledge for me to land on right across the barrier. Right as I reached that point of no returned I remember the ledge had been removed and suddenly I was looking down not at water, but concrete rising to greet me. How should I land? That was the thought I had. I thought about landing on my feet then trying to roll to one side or the other and here it comes. The concrete rushed up to me before I could do anything other than hate myself for jumping. It happened just as fast as you’d think it would. Fifty feet gets eaten up really quickly in a fall.
I landed on my feet but it isn’t like you’d think it is. There was this terrible impact that I felt from my feet to my hips and then I slammed face first into the concrete. There was a curious lack of pain at that point but I could feel the blood in what was left of my mouth. I could see out of my right eye and there were people running towards me. I tried to move but nothing worked. I lifted my head and turned it towards my right arm which was broken to the point the forearm was totally limp and a piece of shattered bone stuck out. I was afraid to look at my legs. I coughed up blood and teeth. I knew that whatever I could see that was hurt what I could not see was worse.
I saw people running towards me, but they seemed to be very far away, moving slowly. I could feel the blood underneath me, pooling, leaking out of my broken body, and my legs twitched as if they were trying to move on their own, but it wasn’t going to happen. I could feel something that felt very much like pain inside of my head but it was worse than pain. There was something going on inside my skull that felt like my life was being pushed out through the top. The first person to reach me was a Hispanic man and he stopped about ten feet from me. I could see it in his face. He had no idea as to what to do. He knelt down and said, “It’s okay, man, I called 911, help in on the way buddy, just…hang on” and I thought that telling someone who had just fallen to hang on was funny, in a way. But I had jumped. I wonder if he saw it. I wonder if he thought I was trying to kill myself. I didn’t want him to think I had jumped.
I coughed again and more blood came out. The man approached me, gingerly, and kept telling me help was on the way, but he was fading out. My vision was going. I could hear the man as if his voice was just an echo or something on a radio in a passing car. I looked up and the sky was blue, beautiful, but the blue was fading to black.
I tried to fight against it but I knew it was time.
The last few seconds were beginning and ending, and I tried to speak, “Make sure, tell, tell, I love her.”
I woke up and knew I was not going to sleep again.