The boy a knew was a teenager, and therefore he was a god,
For I was eight and to relate, with one of them was odd,
Just a kid was all I was and it seemed all I would ever be,
For there in cars and trucks and cigarettes were men
Who all lived free.
This one had his sideburns, like Elvis, don’t you know,
And he had a tattoo, drawn with a pen just so,
His daddy’s car was the fastest, and his hair the slickest in thing,
But to his ruin and untimely end, the device down did him bring!
He said that she was willing, and offered up her top,
but then there was a mighty struggle, and giggling, she made him stop.
The device, he said, was near impossible, and made from twisted steel,
She might be willing to allow a touch, or maybe a lonesome feel,
But deep inside she was protected, but that tiny clasp
And no man could ever conquer, no matter how he grasped.
Men with muscles made of oak and those who lifted weights,
Were dismayed and never laid, but the hooks that denied fate.
Young I learned, and fast I studied this terrible affliction,
That kept so many Elvis-ite, away from their addiction.
Two sisters I had and they were both, armored in this way,
So I stole away the device in question and I began to play.
A teddy bear that was so big the thing fit just right
Was a partner in this crime, and I practiced every night.
It seemed at first there was a curse and nothing could be done,
But then the slip, with fingertips, began to be too fun.
Of course the time when I could try, on something made of flesh
Was years away and I knew it, but one night there’d be a test.
The first time I slipped my hand into the well dressed Promised Land,
My heart beat wild, my breath was short, and I was too young a man.
I found the clasp, that defeaded Elvis, and with two fingers grasped.
A pull and push, and flick of fingers, and the girl in question gasped,
“You’ve done this before, you naughty boy!” and then there was no laugh.
In invitation was extended because she didn’t move,
Her hand to push my own away and I was in the groove.
My slipped under the bra, the curse was also lifted,
I touched a woman for the first time
Because a giant teddy bear was gifted.