Wednesday, March 18, 2015

The Taylor Swift Sex Dream

Back in the late 90’s I had a dream that was sleeping with Angelina Jolie. It was a fragmented dream and we were there and then I was somewhere else, but it was still a very evocative dream. But I also think it wasn’t so much as who she was, not that sleeping with Angelina Jolie wouldn’t be nice, but it was the intensity of the event. I’ve never slept with anyone famous before but I can’t help but feeling that sleeping with someone just because they’ve managed to become famous would be about the same as sleeping with someone just because that person is really good looking. It might be nice on some very shallow level but at the same time if that’s the only reason you’re there I wonder how much either of you will get out of it. Don’t get me wrong here; there isn’t anything at all wrong with causal sex if both parties are looking for the same thing, but nothing beats being in bed with someone that knows you at a much deeper level.

Bette Davis once said that the men she dated went to bed with one of her characters but always woke up with her. Davis was a chain smoker, a workaholic, a heavy drinker, and pretty much hard to get along with when she wasn’t working. But because men fell in love with her image they presumed there was something inside of Davis that would make that image come to life, in a manner of speaking. Davis was never really happy of stage and I doubt anyone who really knew her saw her any other way.

So last night I dreamed I was having sex with Taylor Swift.

The odd thing here is there isn’t much about the woman’s music that I like very much. During a particularly bad break up I was going through a few years ago my family decided to give me a set of Taylor Swift coasters and play the song, “We are never, ever, ever, getting back together!” as I opened the package. I know everyone thought it was funny because the relationship was one of those on again/off again/on again/off again things where everyone just expects it to be on or off depending on a sudden wind change but I never really got over the coaster thing. I do still have them.

Taylor Swift, in bed, and in a dream, you would imagine, might be really intense, but it was like being with someone for the first time who was really very nervous about the first time being with someone new. Sometimes it clicks instantly and righteously when you’re with someone new for the first time and sometimes the jitters take over and you just wish you could rewind or fast forward but the right at that very instant it’s not doing either and both parties are trying to figure it out.

She blurted out that her breasts were smaller than they looked and then I could tell she realized that wasn’t exactly conducive to seduction. She had that “Who says things like?” look on her face and I nearly laughed but realized that might make matters worse. Thankfully, for Taylor Swift and myself, the sex dream ended and shifted into something else.

In all good truth, that might have been the most realistic sex dream I could have with Taylor Swift in it. Who knows, really, what kind of person she is and for that matter, how comfortable she is having sex with someone for the first time? We envision the famous as being morally corrupt, sexually insatiable, and out of touch with reality, and maybe all of that, some of that, or none of that is true. What is true is that it is very likely we will never know if Swift is a tigress or a prude when it comes to sex. Mostly, she’s an image created to sell music and I wonder if she ever feels really, really lost in it.

When the dream shifted I was talking to Swift on a cell phone and she was trying to guide me through a little town I thought was in Tennessee. There were abandoned brick buildings, overgrown vacant lots, but the sun was breaking through a slight fog and I thought it was all very beautiful in its own weird way. The call dropped and suddenly I woke up. I couldn’t remember if I had ever used a cell phone in a dream. There wasn’t a sex buzz going like there is with some dreams.

Today I sat down and listened to some of her music, which I still do not like very much, and I’m not likely to just because we slept together in a dream. Her early stuff sounds a lot alike but that can be said of nearly everyone. Swift’s attempt to take over the world seems to be working with her last couple of collections she’s released so I won’t have to worry about her faking a pregnancy to trick me into marrying her.

Still, it’s odd how someone from very much outside my world was planted inside my mind in a very odd way. The dream of Jolie was brief but it was also shockingly intense and raw. The dream with Swift portrayed her as someone who was still a bit innocent. How much of the images that are sold to the public was inserted into those two dreams? More than I would like to admit, I am quite sure.

We’re bombarded with images to which we are supposed to react to in a certain way. It works so well we don’t realize it is working sometimes. The never ending stream of media washes us away from reality even when we’re dreaming. The mythos and presentation of who someone is overrides reality and we are programmed to accept it as part of life.

I wonder, I really do, if someone sat down with Taylor Swift and said, “We’re going to create an image where you’ll be bright and beautiful, but somewhat flawed, and the men who want you will also feel a little sympathy for you having to be built like this for money”
Damn, it worked.

Take Care,



  1. Actually, Rita Hayworth said, "Men fall in love with Gilda [her most famous character], but they wake up with me."
    Bette Davis didn't give a shit.

    1. I thought it was Davis, really. Now I have to look it up.

      But other than that, Mrs Lincoln, how did you like the play?

    2. I liked it! I once had a dream about Mickey Rourke after Nine 1/2 Weeks came out, but that just made me fall in love with Joe Cocker instead.


    1. Now that was just mean! Lol You know I quit smoking.

  3. Why is it when someone dreams of bedding a famous person, they make the assumption being famous must mean great in bed?

    Even further, when the dreamer tells other people about the dream, the listeners assume the famous person would set the sheets ablaze?

    I'm sure celebrities run the gamut like the rest of us. As a matter of fact, since they're more attractive and used to lots of attention, they might think they don't have to work at it.

    Yeah, damned spoiled brats… Hey, Zeta-Jones, get out of my bed.

    1. But you know, I can't help think Cathrine would be great in bed, Bruce.