Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Flirting With The Cousins

Tyger Linn has discovered flirting. I keep a two chair barricade between my bedroom and the living room when all the dogs are inside, and I keep the Residents in the room with me and the Cousins on the other side. The Cousins could not care less. They like the living room floor and they like the AC. They like being inside so much they are just going to lie there quietly and wait for me to ask them to go outside.

Now, that’s a little odd, too. Greyson, the big female, is obviously expecting the door to open at the east side of the door when in reality it opens on the west. She keeps getting confused. More than a week later, with multiple trips outside every day, Greyson is not showing any signs that NASA might one day steal her away for her towering intellect. I’m not sure that Labs break into the top one percent of intelligent dogs but the only Weimaraner I ever knew was fairly bright. It must be a Lab thing, certainly.

But Greyson is a kind and gentle dog, as is her brother, Marco. They are a bonded pair and very rarely will one be somewhere without the other. Lilith sticks close to me and Tyger Linn, ever the hunter, wants to go out into the woods and watch and wait and listen. But she also wants to get the attention of the Cousins. Tyger Linn will lie on her back near the barricade and wiggle around on her back and make growly noises and whine. Lilith ignores her. The Cousins ignore her. I ignore her, but Tyger Linn wants someone to come over and pay some sort of attention to her antics. The longer no one goes over to check for Demonic Possession, the longer Tyger will floor dance and the louder.

The Cousins are not interested. Lilith is aloof. The effort goes for naught so Tyger leaps onto the bed to tell me she has been mistreated. This is serious. No one will play with her. So I have to spend a few minutes in tug of war which no one else seems to want in on at all. I have to teach the Cousins how to play something, even if it’s Whist.

There is something about large dogs. They have a certain feel to them, a definite mass, and there’s no way to do anything about their momentum at times. I’ve discovered they have no idea their tails are weapons when wagged furiously so I cannot walk around nude without watching for a wild tail whipping. The first time I got popped it was an experience that did not bear repeating, no pun intended.

Marco, the big male, is not nearly as assertive as Lucas or Bert was. He’s more of a go with the flow type fellow and Greyson is downright submissive. Neither of them will have anything at all to do with the Residents, and I like it that way. Lilith seems to enjoy being around her Cousins but at the same time, she’s kept her distance. Only Tyger Linn seems to want to figure out if these giants are going to be any fun or not. I’m not willing to let Tyger Linn test the waters quite yet and the Cousins seem to agree.

Tyger Linn is reaching deep in the bag of tricks.

The floor wiggle growly noise dance is not working at all but Tyger seems to think all it needs is volume. It’s hard not to laugh at her for doing this and I wonder why Lilith doesn’t play with her. This is Lilith at her very core, however. Lilith Magnolia is an aloof animal around strange dogs. She’s waiting to see who these new people are and what they are going to do and how long they plan to stick around. She and the Cousins all seem to agree that there is a place for the new dogs and a place for the old dogs, and everyone is better off by keeping their distances. Lilith has retreated from her spot next to me on the sofa. It’s a courtesy to the new dogs so if they want to speak to me they don’t have to approach her.

It is also a warning to me that Lilith isn’t seeking out these new dogs as companions. Her fascination is one from a distance. Lilith the Aloof needs some space and the Cousins need to find their way home in my house before having to sort how who is who inside a new pack. Tyger Linn wants to push buttons, I think. I think she’s going to get snapped at by a large male dog if she does and I’m not looking for that to happen.

The Cousins may be passive and derpy large dogs but they are still large dogs. Together they represent the better part of two hundred twenty pounds of canine. There will be no small mistakes and there will be no bloodless misunderstandings. I have to make sure that everyone is down with the plan of blending two packs before I turns them all loose together on top of my bed.

That’s not likely to happen soon. I’m going to need a bigger bed.

On the upside, really, these dogs are great people. They sleep through the night and they aren’t digging holes in the yard or tearing siding off the house. They haven’t eaten a shoe or a pair of glasses. They stick together and they mind me when I speak to them. They both need pettings on their ears and I’m down with that. I have missed the large ones, terribly.

Tyger Linn’s gyrations and flirtations go unanswered behind the chair barricade. Lilith dozes peacefully beyond the strangeness of the Cousins. Two large dogs sleep in the corner of the living room and I can now tell them apart in the dark and how they sound when they walk. There’s some getting used to to get used to, but we’re heading there.

Take Care,



  1. Sounds like Tyger is the vaudeville performer on stage, with the outlandish clothes and off color jokes, demanding the spotlight.

    Whereas Lilith is the granddame who views everything going on through opera glasses from her private box.

    The cousins would be the musicians in the orchestra pit, who have been there done that. It’s a good gig, so we do what we gotta do, and don’t make waves.

    You’re the theater owner trying to make everything run smoothly, but acutely aware the shit could hit the fan if you let you get complacent.

    1. I think it's just going to take time for two dogs to get used to two dogs. After what happened with Tanya my two are in a state of shock and the cousins, after being displaced, aren't much better. For that matter, I'm not all here yet either.

      But you know what? I got this. I can ease this pack together because I simply have no other fucking choice.

      I've failed once too often this year.

  2. There's only so much you can do, and you do it the best you can, but there is a lot you are powerless to control. Dogs have personalities and baggage, just like people, so the eventual outcome, even with your best efforts, is out of your hands.

    1. No, in my hands this is. I will not fail this time, ever it may bring.