|Note the Holly leaves in the background|
The interesting thing about exhaustion it whereas it should bring a hard and restful sleep, having dogs that spent the day out in the sun with you brings dogs that vomit up the grass they spent the day eating. Both Cousin dogs graze until they have baseball sized bales of hay inside of their stomachs that can only come forth after midnight, and can only be expelled by making noises that sounds like a drunk man puking up his soul at Norte Dame during the baptism of a banshee. This causes me to have to get up and clean the mess up, which they do have the decency to do on hardwood floors, not carpet, and of course, this earns them a trip outside where they can puke out the rest on the deck instead of the yard. One day some stoned hippie is going to find one of these bales and roll a joint or two out of it, and after smoking it, while have visions of Lassie pushing Timmy into a well and then puking on him with psychedelic vomit drifting down while sparkling.
I had a dream last night that comes and goes depending on whether or not I’m trying to remember or just letting things flow, and I cannot put my mind on who was in it. “You said something, that was really important” It’s a distraction, the dream is, and perhaps it will get here in time.
There’s three pieces of three different trees on the ground I have to get to the firepit, or just leave them where they are, and there’s to harm in leaving them, but to get them to the firepit means an impressive fire. I like fire. However, transporting them in one piece apiece means a lot of work and cutting them into pieces means a lot of work. The idea that space aliens or some sort of advanced civilization built the Pyramids or Stonehenge or the statues on Easter island was thought up by people who have never been physically exhausted from hard work. One, once you’ve tackled a giant piece of wood, to cut it or to move it, you know damn well how much mass one human being can affect. No, it is not easy, but it is possible. Two, once you’ve done it, there’s sort of a thing inside of you that makes you want to do more. Can you do it? Can it be done? If it cannot be done, how close can you get to getting it done and can you get someone else in there with you, in the heat, the grime, the sweat, the physical effort to build a bigger fire?
Don’t sell your body short. Don’t sell your determination short. Get out there under the worst conditions and put some effort into moving something most people don’t think can be moved by one person and move the damn thing. Worry it to death, move it an inch a day, cut a toothpick off it each hour, but as long as you’re flailing away you aren’t failing. You cannot fail as long as your body is getting stronger through what you’re doing. Moving a piece of a tree a two hundred meters may not be something you can talk about to people and impress them like you’ve build Stonehenge, but this isn’t about impressing anyone else but you. After you drag and hack and push and pull something like that through the woods, in July, in the middle of the day, what exactly will daunt you physically? After that, helping someone get a long sofa up a high stairwell isn’t going to make you flinch.
Where are your limits? They’re either in front of you where you can see them or they are behind you, where you left them.
I remember the dream now, oddly, and I was moving into an apartment that was underground yet in a city. There were two sets of apartments, separated by a narrow space, and I had an apartment alone, the one on the right, but when I returned to move in my keys fit the one on the left, and there was a giant man with a green beard in and another guy I don’t remember. The dream shifted a lot, and there was a lot of odd technology in it, as if I was in the future, but it is also very fragmented.
Damn, it would seem I’ve talked myself into moving three really big pieces of wood, or reducing them, in the worst part of the Summer. There isn’t any hope of finding anyone who wants to get out in the heat and work their body into exhaustion so there can be a fire on the coldest day of the year, but my grass eating canines will keep me company for the most part. I think I’ll start with those out by the pond, in the thicket, that I have to move all the way to the gate, and then back down to the firepit. The Leaner is going to go last, and that piece of a tree that is just hanging in midair will have to go first. Ah, living in the woods is like living in a gym made of fuel for a fire. Really
I’m going to need a few things; a new axe sharpener, and maybe one of those two headed axes, I have always wanted one, a better rope than I have, certainly, and I need a heavy duty winch or come along.
Exercise equipment for the body and soul is found in moving large things. When humans decide to make the effort to do it good things can happen or just things can happen, but where there is no quit in the soul the body will follow. By limits will be defined not by what I cannot do but merely what I have not done yet. I have a lot of Summer left, and a lot of long days in this Summer, and a lot of sweat still in my body.