Saturday, August 20, 2016

The Wife Beater, Hand Holders, and the Porn Guy

Who names their hotspot this? WHY?




The upside to seeing a lot of people in a coffee place is it means it’s a good place to drink coffee, unless the downside shows up and that many people means the staff is shuffling around like zombies in knee deep molasses while popping valium. And because people there’s an unsettling feeling right now that I’m in a room filled with people who haven’t had their fix yet and those who had were dosed only after having to wait an ungodly amount of time for something that should happen quickly. Of course, we live in world where coffee is considered a necessity when the reality of the situation is coffee is not indigenous to this region. Zombies, in point of fact, are.

There’s one guy behind me that has a patch of phlegm the size of a kitten caught in his throat. He’s struggling to keep it down or bring it up, whatever the hell he’s trying to do it isn’t working for any of us. I keep feeling as if I’m going to feel something warm and slimy on the back of my bald head at any second. I’ll have to go to the ER and have them remove that part of my scalp and live with the idea that a loogy that could cover the better part of a Boston Terrier once resided on the back of my head.

I’m sitting behind two women engaged in a quiet but lively conversation about the guy at a table across from us, and about ten feet from me. He has a cell phone and he’s looking at photos of naked women on it. No, not super X rated photos, just T&A but he seems totally oblivious to the fact people can see what he’s seeing. The two women are debating as to whether they should confront him or call management from their table and get something done.

The guy I knew thirty years ago is at the next table up from the two women, and he was arrested and convicted for beating his wife and two small children back in the 80’s. His wife took everything he owned which caused him to sell me a handgun very cheap. I still have the gun and it makes me feel better than he doesn’t. True, he could have gotten another one, but at the time he was not armed and everyone felt better for it.

To my left and slightly behind me is a couple sharing a computer and their body friction. I get the feeling they’re exploring options right now and both are enjoying this. This is fun to watch because both are acting a little giddy and whatever project they are supposed to be working on is suffering from inattention but they don’t care. They are very young, and he seems to be a little awkward at all of this but she’s feeding the fire slowly by laughing at anything he says and leaning into him when he puts his arm around her. I have to stop watching before they catch me looking, but I think they’re zoned out. The place would have to be ablaze before the spell was broken.

One of the women at the table in front of me goes up to the counter and the one facing me is stealing a glance at Porn Boy. Her companion is ratting him out. She meets the manager at the end of the counter and his eyes lock onto Porn Boy with a look that suggests that he’s going to do something sooner than later. The manager waits until the woman is sitting down again and he pretends to wipe the counter where the milk and sugar is stored, and then walks behind Porn Boy from his blind side.

The manager leans over while Porn Boy is looking at some blonde with very obvious enhancements to her body and suddenly Porn Boy puts the phone down as the Manager speaks to him. Time for you to take your show on the road, dude, and Porn Boy gathers his cup of coffee and heads for the door at a near trot.


The manager waits until the scene has been secured and speaks to the two women who thank him for his prompt action. I give him a thumbs up and he smiles at this. The woman who is facing at me suddenly realizes that I’ve been watching this too and she waves from five feet away. “Oh hi!” and I wonder how these two feel about a guy who would look at this sort of thing in public and not realize how weird it is?

That’s the thing that escape too large a percentage of the male population in America; they have no idea how uncomfortable women feel about some of the things men do in public. This is the reason women go to the bathroom together; there’s safety in numbers. Take a small coffee joint that maybe seats twenty-five people when it’s filled. In this small population of people, and this point in time there’s fewer than fifteen people in the building, there is one guy out of about seven who is looking at soft core porn on his phone in clear view of two people within spitting distance of him. Oh, there is nothing like public sexual arousal to turn women on, now is there? Perhaps a blonde with dark eyebrows and ten grand worth of cosmetic surgery will come in and remark that it’s incredibly sexy for a man to look at naked women on his phone in public.

Either that or maybe two women in the room will wonder what the fuck is wrong with his guy.


Yes, suddenly, it is clear as to which one of these is most probable.

The couple behind me have stopped pretending to work on the computer and they’re holding hands under the table. Hand holding is the first step in a physical relationship and there’s a lot   to be said for it. It’s a form of intimacy that transcends the action itself for two people can hold hands in public and no one knows how this feels to the two who are doing it for the first time, that first step into deeper water together, the squeeze and counter squeeze that says, “Yes, I have been waiting for this moment, too”

There’s a world of separation between the thoughts of a man holding the hand of a woman and the other who is look at porn on his phone in public.

Take Care,
Mike

4 comments:

  1. It's rather sad that people can't mind their own fucking business.

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    1. I'm not sure I follow you on this one. What do you mean?

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  2. Why does anyone care what some guy is looking at? Mind your own business, drink your goddamn coffee, and GTFO.

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    1. For one thing you have to admit he was certainly the one person that was interesting enough to write about. Second, when there are tables that small in a place laid out the way it is there is less privacy as to what's on a screen. Now, porn is like smoking; it's better when you do it without a nonparticipating audience. There are millions of people who watch billions of dollars worth of porn every year and no one gets hurt. However, to do something like that in public shows a certain lack of understand of who is around you and where you are. People with boundary issues are a little creepy, but I'm part Chow. I suspect the two women in this case have a case and I agree with them.

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